Playing The Game

A friend recently forwarded this article to me - Why Modern Dating Makes Me Want To Punch Myself In The Throat. Thought Catalogue tells me that this article has 1.8m views. I don't disagree with the writer, that is to say if your romantic life is as she describes, almost anyone would want to punch themselves. But to say that all modern dating like this would be false. She has to a great extent made her problem everyone's problem. She isn't imaging these problems, they are very real but what she isn't seeing is that she is part of the problem. Towards the end of the article she has a list of suggestions. I do hope she plans to act on them too. Looks like honesty is the best policy, after all.

I've read far too many articles of how our world and our times are responsible for our failures. While our circumstances are not completely in our control, we always have a choice. Like in the dating article, she chose to play the game even though she hates it. This article says that people play games with each other, but that is nothing new. Romance has always been a game since the Victorian times. What is courting, if it is not the game of love? Movies and TV series are interesting because they show this very game. It is the basic concept of a plot, any student of literature or drama would understand it. If there is no conflict in the story then there can be no resolution.

If you want to play the helpless victim, no one can help you. If you want to feel sorry for the way things have turned out for you, you can wallow in self-pity. In today's world there is no denying that technology has become an integral part of our lives. However, it is our choices that determine whether we use it to connect to those around us or disconnect ourselves from them. You may let popular belief dictate your choices, but you'll have to live with the consequences.

It takes courage to make your own decisions, especially when they contradict popular belief. Popular belief could come from your family or friends or the world at large. This doesn't mean that all popular beliefs are wrong or that by contradicting them you are doing the right thing. However, understanding that something isn't right for you, doesn't mean it is wrong for others. Generalizations are a problematic because no two individuals are alike and what works for one person may not for another. Life is tough on everyone, taking responsibility for our decisions and understanding the consequences of our actions will make it easier for us.

I'd like to know your thoughts on the matter. Do you really think that the dating scene is really so terrible? Do you believe in true love? Is is difficult to carve your path in today's world? Does technology aid or impede you in your relationships?

Time Out

If you're a working person in today's corporate world, life sort of passes by in a haze of events. Especially if your career has just begun. You want to prove yourself, show everyone what you're capable of achieving. Most of us have been brought up with the ideology that you work while you're young and save up for when you're old. The thought is that you can fulfill your dreams after you've made enough. But I wonder if we'll ever make enough and isn't it true that the time when you can actually make the most of life is when you have the strength and enthusiasm to do things. I don't think people beyond a certain age can't do something they want to, but why wait, why not make the most of every year, every day.

Trip to Velas with Ornella and Miah to see turtles hatch and take their first steps into the world. Really loved this weekend trip.

The last year was something of a haze to me. This is not to say that I didn't enjoy my life at all. However, work took up most of my time. Let me give you a brief idea of my day;
6 am - Wake up
6.30 am - Get ready
7 am - Leave for work
8.30 am - Reach work
8.40 am - Start work (my PC sometimes took 30-45 mins to start)
10.30 am - Coffee break
10.45 am - Back to work
1.30 pm - Lunch break
2 pm - Back to work (if things weren't crazy I'd maybe get back to work at 2.15)
3.30 pm - Tea break
3.40 pm - Back to work
5.50 pm - Leave for home (if there is meeting, I'd get home at 10.30 pm)
7.45 pm - Reach home (if traffic is truly crazy 9 pm)

Sometimes, work would follow me home. On days when I couldn't travel due to transport or health issues, it was a good option. However, the rest of the time it was irksome, sigh. I wish I could just work from home for good. I really love freelancing for this reason alone, as sometimes payments can be ridiculously delayed for no apparent reason.

There was little time to pursue any passion other than catching up on sleep. My weekends were all about catching up with friends and family. Taking care of myself, my health to be specific became low priority. Most of us sacrifice a lot for our work. I always wonder if your work, your boss truly appreciate that you're sacrificing your life for the sake of your work. I've seen very few cases where there is even acknowledgement of the fact that you have life beyond work.

Chatting with Namiko-san about playing the Shamisen after my performance at the Cool Japan Festival

One such incident occurred when a manager handed in some work about two hours before I had to leave. It was a task that would take me a full day to finish it. Note that he knew about this work the day before and told me that he would sending in the file by noon. Meanwhile, I had been working all day on another task handed to me by the same manager. About an hour after I began on the task, he walks up to me and asks, "So how much is left to be done?" I looked at him somewhat incredulous and said, "Most of it. You gave this to me not more than an hour ago." He looked at me dumbfounded and said, "Ok let me know when you finish it." I looked at him in annoyance saying, "It will be done by lunch time tomorrow. I'm leaving in another hour, I'll do as much as I can but it will not be possible to finish it." He puffed up and declared, "You'll have to stay back and finish it. This has to be sent in on priority (I don't know why managers say this, it makes me think priority is some type of mailing system.)" Unfortunately, for the manager, I had plans for that evening besides they had been annoying me by giving me work that technically wasn't even mine. So looking him squarely between the eyes and in a tone that was oddly calm and I probably had a sinister smile for all I know, I said "If it had to be sent in on priority, you should have handed it in on priority. You will get it by lunch time tomorrow." He was speechless and I was dying trying to keep a straight face.

My dear friend Indy at Red Box

While working seems to give me good stories. I'm currently making the most of my time off aka time out. I was planning to take up a new job and I was busy giving interviews in March. But a sudden bout of food poisoning and mysterious fever got me thinking that maybe its time I focus on my health. Ever since I've begun working I seem to have fallen prey to some infection or illness. I rarely ever fell ill in school or college. I'm going to use my time to find something that allows me to take care of my health.

The one thing I definitely miss from my last job are my colleagues, I've always been fortunate to have excellent colleagues but these guys were kindred spirits. I miss our coffee and tea breaks, all the wonderful conversations, the occasional lunches at fancy places. I hope to see them soon, it's difficult because we're all working. Anyways, a big shout out to Indy, Heta, Ashwati, Foram, Urvi, Sanchari, Nikita, Pratik, Prathamesh, Akshay, Clive and so many other wonderful people who made my day, everyday. I really want to thank you for the wonderful time I had and the beautiful memories that we share. You are awesome, stay awesome.

Summer Blues

So I've been planning to write a blog for awhile. I've never known what kind of blog I'd like to write as I have varied interests. So I'm just going to write about everything. I'd love getting feedback, thank you for reading.

Summer is a great time to enjoy many outdoor activities. However, the current weather has been more of a heatwave than the kind of summer we hear of in poems. So here are a few tips to beat the heat and keep you looking and feeling great.

• Keep yourself hydrated (water, juices etc). Avoid aerated drinks which are dehydrating.

 

• If showering every few hours is not possible. Simply run cool water over your wrists or dab your pulse points with a handkerchief soaked in cool water.
• Get a haircut. Hair traps heat and this doesn't help when you feel like you're living in an oven. Shorter hair means you can shower more often as well.
• Dip cotton wads in rose water and store them in the refrigerator. Place these on your eyes once you get back home. Not only will this help you relax but this also helps replenish the moisture lost from your skin around your eyes which is very delicate, keeping your skin hydrated minimizes wrinkles and fine lines.
• The next time you peel the skin of a papaya or watermelon don't chuck the peels into the bin, instead lightly score the inner part of the peel with a fork and rub it over your face and neck. It can be a bit messy but its the cheapest and easiest face pack on the market.Papaya and lemon peels will help you get rid of a tan, watermelon works as an astringent.(If you'd like a post on easy face-packs please leave a comment.)
• Lastly drink a lot of water. Add electrolytes or water-soluble vitamins and minerals to your bottle of water, this will help restore vitamins and minerals that are lost when you sweat. Fruit juices work, if they are fresh as packaged ones have a lot of sugar or preservatives that don't do you much good in the long run.

I hope that you've found this list helpful.